chokedout | (no subject)

sort of like this:

instead of me saying "I'm sorry" again to you because I shared what I did

I would say something like "I keep thinking about how that made you feel, and I don't want you to feel that way again." or "I keep thinking about my mistake and it upsets me, but I want you to know that I love you and I never meant to upset you".

does that make sense?

I guess So like Telling Iggy what I did to u made me really upset But I don't wanna be mad at u Or to be mad at all I don't want people to know if I don't tell them Teddie Even if they're Iggy

yeah, like that.

you can be upset with me, dom. even if you forgive me, it's okay to be upset
I don't want to make you upset again so... this is how we learn how to work together
it's important. because i want us to stay together

i'll be clearer with boundaries.

I don't want to be upset though Every time I get like that I ruin things How do I stop?

we talk about it, maybe?
we have to build some trust
how does it work with you and teddie?
how did you two balance thing?

We kinda just fought a lot In the beginning at least Then we figured out how to avoid that

[ There were still some fights, just not constant break-ups. ]

Back home I didn't have to worry about my secrets getting out so much Not like it keeps happening here

places like this, i feel, are designed to out us
I'm used to it, I guess
I spent a year in a place like this before

it's not fair

How did u get used to it

If you want the honest truth

I spent years - lives - being torn down by someone who wanted to break me into property
I wasn't allowed secrets, I wasn't allowed my own life. I got used to that
so part of me is still like that, I guess
ready to give up easily and just be bare faced

but i'm working on rebuilding myself.

I'm not gonna let him hurt u again

[ How many people have told Theo the same thing? How many of them were tragically wrong? ]

I haven't been through the same stuff u have But I think I'm rebuilding myself too Even though this place keeps doing shitty things to us For a while I actually felt like I wasn't a monster That's never happened before I wanna be better for u

I hope you can feel that way again
because you aren't and never will be a monster to me

we'll be better for each other, yeah?

Yea... Hey Do u remember when we first met?

how could i forget?

U found me in a really embarrassing state and u decided to [ uhm ] help Even though u had no idea who I was Do u maybe wanna do something like that again

the helping you out part or the not really knowing you part

[sry he's still planning his "we are strangers" w his wife so it's on his mind.]

I mean I'd be helping u out too Is it lame

not lame

what's the vision? i'm in

[ local teenager coming up with horny ideas on the spot ]

Maybe u could go somewhere outside and like Starting jerking off or whatever And I'd find u

[ local teenager who is also kinda immune to the cold not thinking this through for theo ]

♥ i like that

I won't tell you where, either. I know you'll find me
you wanna do this now?

[ oh no he's already horny ]

Yea OK When do I start?

give me fifteen minutes then come find me!!

[That gives Theo enough time to put on some clothes and get outside, immediately going for the hedge maze - covered in new foliage as it happens to be. Is he predictable? Yes. Is he still going to go on in there, looking for a spot deep inside that his boyfriend inevitably will find (when doesn't he?) and then takes a moment to tackle the next issue - putting his cold hand down his pants and getting himself hard.]

Geez.

[ It feels like the longest fifteen minutes, and every time he looks at the watch to count down they seem to take longer and longer. Dom is out the door the second it hits fifteen, stepping outside moments later, looking around and taking a deep breath, picking up the slightest hint of Theo's presence.

He's headed to the maze, smile creeping in the corner of his lips, following the traces of his boyfriend like they're footsteps only he can see. Excitement builds once he's in and turning every corner, touching the foliage, smelling his hand to see if Theo touched it too. The closer he gets, the stronger the scent, the more distinctly he hears Theo's heartbeat above the sound of his shoes on dirt and gravel. ]

[It shouldn't be so exciting (should it?) to know someone's coming to find you. That's been his living nightmare for lives upon lives now, and yet when it's... in his control, and with the hunter in this case being someone he loves? It's fun. Thrilling. And definitely hot enough to have him hard fairly quick, cold hands giving a lazy start - but he sits on a small stone bench on a dead end in the maze, head tipped back and breath visible in soft huffing breaths as he strokes himself. Any moment - any moment and Dom could be right there.

Theo tries to bite back the noises he'd usually make, but a soft gasp does eventually slip past his gritted teeth.]

[ The more he tries to track the sounds, the louder they seem to get — the shift of fabric, then skin on skin, soft wet noises as Theo's breath grows shaky, the scent of him and his arousal like a lure and a drug all at once. Dom's lids lower; he has to stop to breathe, swallow, hand on his crotch where his pants already feel a little tighter. It's so tempting to just unzip and start jerking off to satisfy the need, but he keeps going instead, drawing near, listening and listening and—

There he is. Dom releases his exhale, trembling down to his hands closed into fists. He almost regrets doing this just because of how ready he is to fall apart, like he's been frozen over, ready to break into pieces. Theo looks impossibly beautiful and unfairly hot, touching himself, waiting for Dom. He walks over, gets on his knees, one hand on each of Theo's legs. He feels a little ridiculous when he says, ]

That's— that's one way to stay warm.

[ Maybe Theo doesn't remember, but it doesn't matter much. Dom smiles up at him, wetting his lips, taking over Theo's hand to let go of his cock. Dom all but nuzzles it, brushing the full length with the open curve of his mouth, eyes shut, lost in a dream. Then his tongue, licking once, twice, again and again, leaving not an inch untouched by his saliva. ]

[Theo remembers. He remembers meeting Dom for a multitude of reasons and only one of which was he got decked - but he fondly remembers the meeting because of what it still managed to blossom into. A moment like this where he gets to groan in contentment, letting Dom take the wheel after watching him settle down between his knees. Theo's hands rake through Dom's hair, toying with the strands, playing it against the grain as he feels him warm his cock with the wet heat of his tongue.]

W-We're always doing this on cold days.

[Said with a laugh, and a curl of his toes in his shoes.]