chokedout | (no subject)

yea
of course

[ He thinks about making Teddie beg for it, just a little. He takes a photo of his hand instead, come on his palm and fingers. The second photo shows him licking it up, the top half of his face cropped out. ]

[why did they ever break up]

im gonna be thinking of u til i see u
ur so hot

I've been thinking about u this whole time It's been kind of a mess

[ Too much? ]

im gonna say something ill probably regret
but

[...]

i missed u

[ Way to sober him up. His thumb hovers over the keyboard, lingering over those last three words. ]

I missed u too Teddie

everything else i wanna say is a bad idea
right?

I mean... We've had plenty of bad ideas so far Right?

ill save it for after our date
i should go finish getting ready

im excited to see u

[ There's a lot of typing, a lot of deleting, a lot of fear that if he doesn't get it out now he'll never get it out again.

The last one is I promise I won't mess it up this time. That doesn't make it to the final message either. ]

Yea I think I need another shower See u soon :)

[Teddie spends more time getting ready for this date than he actually did any formal event in his life - he scrubs himself clean, he wears a face mask as he walks around his room naked and applying lotion and cologne, he makes sure his nails are clean and well-cut and he agonizes over the perfect wardrobe. He settles for a look and slicks back his hair a little before resuming the steady pacing of his room until six is due to roll around.

He feels like he's missing something. Forgetting something.]

[ There's not as much investment on his part; some hair product after the shower, thinking he really needs to dye his roots again (Dom keeps forgetting he has to, for some reason), some nicer clothes from his limited wardrobe and his favorite golden earring, dangling from the middle of his earlobe. He's pushing a sleeve down to cover the half-moon half-sun tattoo out of habit on his way out, stopping to brush a thumb over the ink instead. There's no need to do that tonight. Teddie kept his, too.

Dom's about to feel pretty damn underdressed when six comes around, standing at Teddie's door. After the knock, he goes back to looking both ways, hoping Ren doesn't coincidentally come walking down the hallway. If he's going to get his ass kicked for going on this date, let it be after? ]

[Teddie opens the door and - he smiles, wide and energetically. It's enthused and warm, like old times - times that don't feel that far back anymore, probably on account of them hooking up again. He doesn't look both ways when he reaches out to hug Dom, letting him go after a beat and seeming to compose himself again.]

... Kind of weirdly exciting, right? Sneaking around?

[It's tempting to say "why don't we stay in" though...]

—oh. Whoa.

[ That's the reaction to Teddie's outfit before a hug, leaving him a little stunned. Comically so. Dom gives into it, though, hand lingering on Teddie's fingers as they pull away, then self-consciously brushing the back of his head and scratching behind the ear. ]

Uh, yeah. Kinda. [ Smiling. ] I found out there's like a sushi bar here. Do you like that? We could go somewhere else. I mean, you know this place better than me.

Sushi's good - I love california rolls.

[He wants to take Dom by the hand or the arm - but he holds himself back. It's like there's this burst of affection in his chest that wants to come through but there's really no foundation for it. They only just started... rekindling something they both know is probably a bad idea. Is he really this bad at relationships that he gets so excited for... a date?]

Lead me there. We should probably avoid the casino, but... drinks after sushi? We can even do that back in one of our rooms, for privacy. But it would be nice to catch a glimpse of the moon tonight.

No, yeah, I like that. [ It's his best attempt at a fancier date anyway, between the type of cuisine and how they've both dressed up. He wonders what the other couples are cooking up, older and with more expensive taste than Dom ever really remembers having. Maybe if he hadn't decided to divert all the money his mothers handed over into every substance that felt right at the time. ]

Okay, so... you got everything?

Yeah, even got lube in my pocket.

[He makes a little kck-kck sound, waggling his brows at Dom before following him along. Teddie rests his hands in his pockets as he walks, lazy in his stride but somehow still a little effortless with it. He is in an exceptionally good mood in Dom's company. It was always like that, wasn't it? The best or the worst. No in between.]

Did you see some of the other bids? Some people went kinda nuts... all good in the end, I guess. Was it for charity? I think it was... I don't really remember which one.

[ He can't even say anything to that. Who knows how long they'll last with their hands off each other after that exchange of sexts?

On their way, Dom keeps his hands to himself and his attention up and down every hallway, still worried someone's gonna show up who might rat him out to his cousin. The final boss really is just her dragging him off to rightfully berate him about This Very Bad Idea. ]

Fucked if I know. Even the organizers probably aren't sure. Maybe they picked it off the Yellow Pages.

[ And he. Did bid everything in one go, so who is he to talk. ]

Who'd you bid on?

A couple old men, a twink and a girl who I swear I used to know somewhere but can't place... maybe it's just her name feels familiar. Did we know any Milas?

[It's like this memory sits in his brain - I know her but he doesn't. He only just met and he's a little stupid for her, but he doesn't want to bring that up here because... Teddie is a little more than selfish. He wants all of Dom's attention, while he unfairly divides his own to someone else, too. He just wants to know and feel like he's wanted. That's probably the whole void in him all these drugs and party binges try to truly fill and yet never do. It's probably why he and Dom never worked out... but they're on their second try, aren't they?]

You bid on other people too? I forget if I asked.

[See. Teddie just wants to hear "no, just you". #Selfish]

[ Oh. Well. That's a lot of people, and it stings when it has no right to. Dom shakes his head. ]

No, don't think so. I just remember Margot. Pretty sure I saw someone like here who could be her older sister or something. Full of tattoos and everything. [ Gesturing with an open hand over his collarbone and neck. ]

... Just you.

[ His own ugly little thoughts, reminded in this instance of one of their reasons for fighting; Teddie wanted more and Dom wanted all of his boyfriend to himself, and lied. Yeah, sure, an open relationship sounds great. Cue his fits of jealousy when his boyfriend gave them more attention than he felt he was getting, cue him finding his own justifications for why it was different when he got fucked up and fucked the first pretty face that wanted his attention at a party. ]

Well, I'm glad you went all in.

[He says with a soft smile, elbow bumping against Dom's as they walk. It makes him feel good - as he knew it would - and he fights away any thoughts about how unfair that is. He tries to remember Margot's face for a moment but now all he sees is that woman with the tattoos, whose name still eludes him. He's been preoccupied entirely with a different blonde.]

... I like this. Us.

[ He tries to smile back, but it's weak. Dom really shouldn't have asked. Now he's just thinking about a world where he never bid or didn't bid enough, and imagines Teddie acting the exact same way regardless of who was lucky enough to have enough on them. Jealous of a hypothetical scenario instead of focusing on reality. Typical.

He didn't even ask if Theo won any of the dates. Better to pretend he didn't, rather than hate him for having someone else lined up.

Why can't Dom be more like him? Someone who's happy to draw people in, rather than someone who pushes them all away with anger? It's like being jealous of the sun for its light. ]

Uhm, yeah. Me too. We didn't really get to have a date-date like this back home.

Mhmm.

[And that was kind of a shame, really. Teddie thinks about pecking at that topic a bit more, but instead decides not to - worried about pecking at healing scabs instead. He likes the healing part, where there's the promise of something else. No doubt they'll dissolve back into hating each other in time, right?]

So. Sushi.

[Not much to say about sushi. Damn it.]

Maybe after our stint here we can get sushi somewhere out there. On a date date.

What, so we just make sushi our thing when we leave?

[ Provided they leave together. Provided Teddie's rehab isn't a lot speedier than whatever tangled mess Dom keeps getting himself into, and then he'll be the newest-old mistake Mr. Weston-Price talks about in the story of his life to the next romance he meets out there.

Stop it, Dom. ]

Are you going back to New Jersey?

Manhatten, but - yeah.

[New Jersey felt right for a second, but then Teddie's brain sort of fogged up; he was last in New York, wasn't he? No, he was somewhere else... is he just losing his marbles now, on account of the binging? He looks vacant behind the eyes for a second, like he's struggling to put together puzzle pieces that don't fit.]

... But sushi's worth traveling for. Right?