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[chokedout]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
bitchface

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Comments

[chokedout]

if we can find a polaroid we can include nudes

[rationalism]

u know i was gonna ask my library for a polaroid maybe i'll ask for fancy stationary too

[chokedout]

ask your what?

[rationalism]

the library i love it we have a book club

anyway you can ask the library for shit and if you ask nicely and it's not impossible it'll come down this tube like at the bank you know?

[chokedout]

can we go to the magic library asap

[rationalism]

sure baby we can ask for our flirty bits

[chokedout]

will the library judge me on my appearance
i will dress the part for this

[rationalism]

i don't know if it has eyes...

it writes me notes sometimes tho

[chokedout]

[chuck tingle are you listening]

you're being romanced by a sentient library?

[rationalism]

they're not LOVE notes

[chokedout]

are you sure?

[rationalism]

at no point has the library intimated that it wants to rock my hot bod theo

[chokedout]

it's playing the long game, gracie
everyone and everything wants to rock your hot bod

[rationalism]

like statistically 1 in 10 people only wanna fuck men so at least 10% of people don't wanna rock my hot bod

[chokedout]

why are we assuming the library is in that 10%
libraries are like the most pansexual of rooms by design

[rationalism]

okay fine say it wants to fuck me but HOW

[chokedout]

you can live fulfilling romances without sex
there's a lady somewhere attracted to the eiffel tower
i think she married it

[rationalism]

ok but this is me

i cannot live a fulfilling romance without sex

[chokedout]

i can selflessly dedicate myself to being the libaray's physical stand in for your benefit :)

[rationalism]

ur truly a hero babe

[chokedout]

i do what has to be done ♥

i'm self-sacrificial like that

[rationalism]

and ur really sacrificing a lot havng to deal with my libido huh

[chokedout]

mmhmmmmm
the things i do for love??

[rationalism]

xoxo

what's the hot teddie gossip of the day babe

[chokedout]

surprisingly little considering we're all mashed in a giant mansion

i am sleeping my way from one wing to the next though, i hope i have something juicier soon