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[chokedout]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
bitchface

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Comments

[chokedout]

babe, you gotta train him while he's all impressionable and soft. make him some champion dick for your benefit. he's probably gaga for you - how many times you hook up so far? he's clearly into it

omg, yes... you don't have TMJ right? take ibuprofen before, just to spare your jaw anyway

[dead_tongue]

my god i could mould him! you're so right!
nah he's not into me like that, he only likes me because i'm slutty. and only a few times.

no I'm good! but uhm ok i can never suggest this only you or he can.

[chokedout]

all the more reason to make him like horny for you
what was that dog and a bell thing? train him. train him good

befriend him faaaaaster, i yearn to have this in common with youuuu

[dead_tongue]

oh man yeah
i'll make him better! stronger! uh not faster!

i am trying! we had a really nice chat recently tho.

[chokedout]

Yeah? What about? (If I can ask)

[dead_tongue]

the fact that he thinks nobody likes him.

[chokedout]

oh

not liking the sound of that

[dead_tongue]

he's okay. it's just something us lonely weird kids think sometimes.

[chokedout]

I know, I get it
I just


I dunno


I get sad when people I love don't feel my love the way I thought they did

[dead_tongue]

oh he feels it! it's friends, not boyfriends.

[chokedout]

shouldn't i count for both?

[dead_tongue]

it's different.

[chokedout]

which am I for you?

[dead_tongue]

my friend.

i love you so much, but i know we're not like
romantic?

what do you think?

[chokedout]

Yeah, that makes sense
I love you a lot, Iggs

[dead_tongue]

Theo, you know I'm not mad, right?

[chokedout]

Yeah

Sorry, I'm just
being really self aware right now

[dead_tongue]

talk to me.

[chokedout]

i get stuck sometimes in this... rut of just
not feeling like I'm doing enough
like i'm not enough

even when I know I'm doing everything I can
and like- like now? it makes sense. i get it.
but i just feel this ghost of a feeling telling me it's me

[dead_tongue]

Theo. you can't force yourself to be something for people.

[chokedout]

how do i force myself to stop feeling like i'm lacking

[dead_tongue]

first let me get this straight, like, not in general but between you and me, ok?

you feel lacking because you can't be my boyfriend? because you're an incredible friend and someone I trust completely?

[chokedout]

It's not...

I'm just learning these distinctions. Every life I lived prior to this one, I didn't get to have distinctions. I always ended up in one role to one person and straying out of that got me or them killed for it. I guess I'm just learning to exist without feeling like I have to overperform. But I still feel lacking, because of it?

It's a me thing, Iggs. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to drag it onto your lap to have to deal with.

[dead_tongue]

don't apologise for having feelings, dummy. i love you, that means wanting to be here for you.

you're not lacking. you are so, so much.

but like, i think i get what you mean, now.

[chokedout]

Well, know that that's what I want for you too.

Even if I talk about myself an awful lot - okay?